Personal space social story: the full story, page by page, and how to teach it

Copy the text into a notebook or a slideshow and add a picture or a photo to each page. Put your child’s name on page 2. Each page holds one idea, so a child who takes in only a page or two still gets something whole.

Read it as written for the first week. Change words only to make them truer for your child: if hugs are not a thing in your family, swap page 7 for high fives.

• Page 1 (cover): My Space Bubble
• Page 2: My name is ___. I have a body. The space around my body is called my personal space.
• Page 3: Everyone has personal space. My mom has personal space. My friends and my teacher have personal space too.
• Page 4: Personal space is about as big as my arm. Some people call it a space bubble.
• Page 5: Most people feel comfortable when others stay about one arm away. When someone stands very close, people may feel squished or worried.
• Page 6: Sometimes I want to be close to someone I like. That is a warm feeling.
• Page 7: Hugs are very close. Usually people ask first: “Can I have a hug?” The other person can say yes or no. Both answers are okay.
• Page 8: When I talk with a friend, I can stand one arm away. From there I can see my friend’s face and hear their words.
• Page 9: At school, children sit and line up with a little space between them. The space helps everyone move safely.
• Page 10: If someone is too close to me, I can say “Space, please,” or take a step back.
• Page 11: Giving people space is a kind thing to do. It helps friends feel calm when we play.
• Page 12: I have my space bubble, and other people have theirs. I can keep my bubble and they can keep theirs.

Gray’s criteria split sentences into two kinds. Describing sentences say what is true: where we are, what usually happens, what other people think or feel. Coaching sentences suggest what the child can do. The formula is simple: count both, and the describing ones should be at least double. The story above has eight describing pages and three coaching ones (pages 8, 10 and 12), well inside the rule.

Autistic children often miss the unwritten reason behind a social rule. “Don’t stand so close” is a rule with no reason; page 5 gives the reason (people feel squished), which helps the child apply it at the bus stop and in grandma’s kitchen. Gray also recommends a patient, positive voice: “I can” in place of “I must,” and words like “usually” and “sometimes” so the story stays true when a classmate stands close at circle time.

Abstract distances mean little to a 5-year-old, so give the space a shape: a hula hoop around the waist, a stretched arm. Many teachers also teach three rings: a hug ring for family who say yes, a talk ring of one arm for friends and teachers, and a stranger ring of two arms for people you don’t know.

Keep it simple for children under 6 or with limited language: one rule, one arm. Add the three rings once one arm is solid.

Teachers can photograph the real carpet squares and line spots; parents can use photos of the sofa, the front door and the people who visit. Read the school book on school mornings and the home book on weekends.

Play each one a few times a week for two or three weeks, and praise the exact thing your child did: “You stopped one arm away. Perfect space.” Children who work for tokens can earn one per good stop on a token board.

A nonverbal child may understand far more than they can say, or far less, so match the words to what they understand, not to their age. “Arm away. Good space.” is a complete page. A photo of your child inside the hoop makes a better page 4 than any drawing.

Give your child a way to ask for space too. A “stop” picture card on a keyring, a page in their PECS book, or a “space, please” button on their device lets them protect their own bubble. If your child uses a speech device, see our AAC guide for adding new words.

Research on Social Stories shows real but modest effects, best when the story comes with practice and reinforcement. If your child can recite page 4 and still leans on classmates, ask why. A child who crashes into people for the pressure may need a sensory diet from an occupational therapist: tight hugs from a parent who agrees, a weighted lap pad, heavy work. A child who crowds people to get attention or a toy needs a better way to ask, which a behavior analyst can find and teach (see our ABA therapy guide).

Track it so you know whether it works: tally “too close” moments in one daily routine for a week before you start and for three weeks after, on a simple ABA data sheet. Fewer tallies means keep going; no change after three weeks means change the plan.